Freedom from Cybersex Page 6 - Take Setbacks in Stride - GAY MEN'S COUNSELING
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6. Take setbacks in stride

(Page 6 of 6)

Step 5: Don't panic if progress falters

Let's face it: Crap happens and setbacks occur. Therefore, if and when you experience a day or even weeks of very low scores, view the setback against the improvements you have previously made.

Remember, you have worked hard to envision improvement. You have gathered a great deal of information about what helps to achieve moderate gains. Implicitly, you have even begun to substitute behavior that doesn't work with strategies that do.

You have probably also succeeded in achieving scores above 1 for several days or longer. This means you already know a lot and have succeeded in putting this knowledge into practice. You also know what to do now to begin achieving improvements again.

Furthermore, if you look carefully, you can probably detect gains even within the present setback. For example, in your most recent cybersex session, did you participate for as long as usual? If not, what did you do differently to bring it to a faster conclusion?

If you are reading this on your computer during a setback period, what caused you to surf to this web page rather than to a porn or masturbation site? In other words, even now you can ask yourself what you've done to achieve a minor improvement over total cybersex immersion.

Remember: When you experience a setback, simply go back to behavior that works.

So relax. Have compassion for yourself. And try now to do something that you know for sure will raise your score to a 1.5 or higher.

And if not today, you will certainly succeed tomorrow or the following day. And you will be accessing that same desire for change that brought you to this web page in the first place.

It is a mindset that is pushing you to begin or to resume the hard work of reducing and even eliminating your cybersex involvement. It is your strongest ally, a daily insistence that, with the right effort, gains are inevitable.

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