5. Do more of what works
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Step 4: Try out behaviors that worked in the past
When you have described an improvement in three-dimensional detail and have thought carefully about the circumstances in which you have achieved both past and present gains, do more of what seems to work.
Keep in mind, however, that you are aiming for improvement, not perfection. Once you succeed at getting to a 2, try next to remain somewhat longer at 2. Then see if you can achieve a 2.5.
As soon as possible, establish a daily self-assessment routine. Each evening, decide what number on the 1 to 10 scale you would assign in regard to your cybersex activity for that day. In this case, 1 stands for your most active participation in Internet sex and 10 stands for a complete absence of even a mild craving to participate.
It also helps to use a graph to plot your scores from day to day. You can use a computerized spreadsheet program such as Excel to create easily such a graph. A graph allows you to view your overall progress at a glance and also reinforces an encouraging feeling of success when gains are made. However, some men simply post their scores on a calendar. Again, whatever works is fine.
After you have assigned yourself a daily score, it is very important to analyze what you did to achieve the score. Ask yourself the following questions and feel free to make up other questions that occur to you:
- What specifically did you do today to achieve this number?
- At what specific times today did you do something that accounts for this number?
- Who were you with when you achieved this number?
- Where did you go today that contributed to you achieving this number?
- What did others notice you doing that accounts for this number?
- What was different about your daily routine that accounts for the number?
- Was was different about your personal environment that accounts for the number?
- What was different about your mood that accounts for the number?
- When did you know for certain that you would achieve an improvement today?
- What do you need to do tomorrow to maintain an improvement?
- What do you need to do tomorrow to achieve a slightly better score than you did today?
- What was the easiest thing you did today that contributed to this score?
- What was your biggest challenge in achieving this score?
- Tomorrow, what people should you spend time with or what activities should you participate in that will help you maintain the gains you have achieved today?
- What can you do more of tomorrow to maintain this score?
- What can you change tomorrow to achieve a slight improvement in your score?
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