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5. Sissy boys; family disclosure
(Page 4 of 5)
Another issue not covered by coming out models involves
so-called sissy boys—gender-nonconforming males whom commentators
describe as one of the most persecuted subgroups within the sexual minority
community. Typically, gender nonconforming females do not attract the
same hostility as sissies, especially during childhood. And the sissy
faces neglect not only by the school system but by the adult gay male
community because of its desire to avoid stereotyping gay male youth.
Some researchers believe that a large percentage of gay men were sissies
in childhood, but try to eliminate cross-gender characteristics as they
assume adulthood, a process which has been called defeminization.
Some believe that, despite facing greater childhood hostility
than gender conformers, sissies may complete developmental tasks more
successfully than gay male youth who are able to pass as heterosexual.
This is because sissies frequently seek early contact with the LGBT community.
On the other hand, coming out at an earlier age and seeking sanctuary
in the gay male community may interact with the usual demands of adolescence,
resulting in an over-burdening of development pressures.
Finally, there is the complex issue of family disclosure.
On the one hand, individuals who do not disclose are described as half-members
of the family, alienated and afraid. On the other hand, disclosure may
precipitate a new series of stressors, including a) adverse parental and
sibling reaction, b) a triggering of suppressed family anger not specifically
related to sexual orientation, c) a need for the whole family to grieve
the lost heterosexual identity and d) a frequent requirement to support
parents at a time when sexual minority youth are themselves in need of
parental support.
Still, these are complications probably experienced only
by a minority of individuals. Though coming out is sometimes a struggle,
the majority of individuals adjust successfully to LGBT identity commitment.
Sources:
—Herdt, G., & Boxer, A. (1993). Children of Horizons: How gay and lesbian teens are leading a new way out of the closet. Boston: Beacon Press.
—Rofes, E. E. (1993/94). Making our schools safe for sissies. High School Journal, 77, 37-40.
—Troiden, R. R. (1989). The formation of homosexual identities. Journal of Homosexuality, 17(1/2), 43-73.
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