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4. Identity commitment
(Page 4 of 5)
This final stage consolidates the process of adopting
homosexuality as a way of life. For many, the experience of a same-sex
love relationship marks the beginning of identity commitment. Even at
this stage, identity management continues to be an issue, with many individuals
perceiving a need to hide their sexual orientation from significant others
such as employers or co-workers, while at the same time weighing the benefits
of disclosure in order to prevent false expectations on the part of associates.
Few individuals disclose to everyone.
Other issues
In addition to sequential stages, other concerns also
bear upon coming out. These include the issue of grieving for a lost heterosexual
self, though with increased social acceptance of LGBT minorities, this
is changing.
Socialized as heterosexual, youth when coming out not only
reach for something new, but also give up normative aspirations such as
heterosexual marriage, children and grandchildren. Again, with legalized
gay marriage in countries such as Canada and Spain and with an increasing
number of gay and lesbian couples raising biological or adopted children,
this is also changing. Still, it remains true that many sexual minority
youth must sometimes deal with grieving the death of what they once believed
they were.
Related to the issue of symbolic death is the fear of actual death from Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. Some researchers argue that coming out is complicated by the worry of contracting an incurable sexually transmitted disease. However, others believe that fear of AIDS does not interfere with coming out, possibly because of improved public perception of the gay community.
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